Thursday, December 01, 2005

Today's favourite odd news: sharing female solidarity through nipple showing


Before the guys start breathing too heavily, one of the females is a 300lb gorilla.


Two former caretakers who refused to bare their breasts to a 136-kilogram, sign-language-speaking gorilla named Koko have settled a lawsuit against the Gorilla Foundation.

Nancy Alperin and Kendra Keller claimed they were fired after they refused to expose their bosoms to the primate


The lawsuit they filed says that they were threatened that if they did not indulge Koko's nipple fetish, their "employment with the Gorilla Foundation would suffer".

OK, how in the heck do you know if a gorilla has a nipple fetish? Write your answers on a postcard, then shred it. Unfortunately, the FAQ at the Foundation's website does not mention nipples at all.

At this point if you're female you're probably cynically nodding your head and wondering who the male pig is that runs the foundation. But no, according to the report the culprit is the Gorilla's caretaker, Francine Patterson.

Alperin and Keller claimed that Francine (Penny) Patterson, the gorilla's longtime caretaker and president of the Gorilla Foundation, pressured them to expose their breasts as a way to bond with the 33-year-old female simian.

"On one such occasion," the lawsuit said, "Patterson said, 'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples."


Aaaah, I begin to wonder exactly who it is with the nipple fetish here. Maybe the poor ape is being used as a nipple stooge, much as single fathers use their kids to attract women.

Koko might be able to shed some light as she has a vocabulary of more than a 1,000 signs (of which 998 are variants on "nipple").

As a male, I'm feeling a bit slighted here. I have nipples too, damnit! Are my nipples unworthy? Bloody feminist simian nipple-fetishists.

1 Comments:

At 5:27 AM, Anonymous Charles Harding said...

I remember reading a book about Koko when I was a kid. Back then a speaking gorilla caused a lot of controversy. Scientists were saying it was stimulus response like chickens pecking the piano for pellets. A week ago I was googling Koko to see what ever happened with Koko, and found their website. Here is a link:

http://ali.apple.com/ali_sites/ali/exhibits/1000790/Ambassador_for_Her_Species.html

I think “nipples” is the gorilla word for human, or at least how they identify humans. Seeing that Dr. Patterson taught Koko with human dolls, as a baby gorilla. For that matter the word gorilla means a “tribe of hairy women”. Here is the link:

http://ali.apple.com/ali_sites/ali/exhibits/1000790/Koko_and_Penny.html

Maybe Dr Patterson should change the participation to a volunteer basis only. They had to know that it wasn’t going to be a normal office job. Something was going to be out of the ordinary. They are working with sentient Gorillas!

Honestly, I think the lady should be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. When you look at the videos made me seriously rethink where the sentient line is drawn. Maybe, that is why people are afraid to give her studies the honor it deserves.

 

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